Bored In the Bedroom?

Doing the same thing time and time again and expecting a different result has been defined by Albert Einstein as insanity. Ticking off the same checklist between the sheets year after year is guaranteed to get old and will not get you the results that you are hoping for either. We get so wrapped up in routines and staying in our comfort zone that we soon realize we are stuck or are in a place we don’t want to be. Nothing amazing comes from comfort zones. How many times did you as a kid utter the words, “I’m bored,” and expect a caregiver to swoop in with a new and exciting activity to pique your interest or creativity? If we don’t take responsibility for our own lives and our own sexual satisfaction and desires, nothing is going to change. We tend to point fingers and blame it on our partner for falling into a rut or repeating the same thing time and time again. Let’s just STOP, take a breath and take a look at our part in the snoozefest sex life.

When we feel stuck it is sometimes hard to get unstuck. We get discouraged, frustrated and we soon give up and settle right back into the regime that was bleeding monotony and weary in the first place.

There are so many ways to combat the routine or rut that you may have fallen into so let’s get to the point so you can get at it and get busy. Elements of new and fresh can be teeny tweaks or complete and total 180s. For some people, they like to take baby steps and for some a 100ft cliff jump is more their style. NO matter what your choice is, it will make a difference and you will be on your way to breathing some much needed life and excitement back into your bedroom. Life should be fun and the intimate part of your life shouldn’t be an exception.

If you are a teeny tweaker some ideas for you may include reaching out and holding your partner’s hand in the car, offering a back massage, grabbing their butt as you walk by, kiss-not just a goodbye or a hello peck, knock his/her socks off. Make it a habit to have a daily mini make out session, an unexpected kiss is always a nice surprise, a sexy text, planning a surprise date, a love note, a simple conversation that you want to “get it on.” Get out of bed-if all of your moves, in your mind, have been perfected between the sheets, it’s time to relocate. Get creative! A bathroom counter, the shower or bathtub, a couch, your kitchen island (hello), your backyard…the list is endless and so the opportunities are too. The list can go on for days here, get creative and figure what works for you, the point is just to do something different.

If you are a cliff jumper, the sky is the limit here as well. You can be naked on the couch when they come home, plan a weekend away or a staycation, sport a new piece of lingerie, introduce a sex toy or six-the choices in this arena are limitless. You can pick up some massage oil or a fun foreplay game, you can choose a vibrator or incorporate collars and crops.  The options are definitely too many to mention but there will be something for you. You just have to choose what you are comfortable with or excited to learn more about. Enjoy erotica together, talk dirty to one another, role play. Again, the list is never ending here as well, it just needs to be explored to find ideas that work for you and your partner.

Chatting with your SO is always a good idea when incorporating something new, especially if it is a big change or they are going to be wondering what is going on with you and your new moves. Shaking things up is great, creating turbulence is not. Some people find it uncomfortable to bring up certain things but you will be so glad you did when the convo starts rolling. Be sure to use “I” instead of “you” when expressing yourself so that your loved one isn’t on the defensive and feeling attacked, there is no need to have hurt feelings or create a wedge when your goal was to feel closer and more connected.

Bored in the bedroom? Stale in the sack? There are so many little things that we can do to increase intimacy in our relationship and ignite a spark between the sheets. The little things add up to positive steps towards achieving our sexual goals as individuals and as couples. Now get back in the game and hit a home run, the sky is the limit…or is it?